Without a Tear
by Yui Miyamoto
Summary: Shuichi can't seem to make any lyrics come out into his pen. Yuki hands him a CD from his *ahem* idol singer...Koji Nanjo. (Kind of a crossover with Zetsuai).


Disclaimer: Gravitation's rights are held by Murakami Maki and Sony.  
  
Without a tear  
by Yui Miyamoto  
  
I curled on the leather couch with a pencil on my ear and a note pad that was blank...well, that was to say that all my scratch paper was in the small plastic bag on the floor. Sighing while looking at the pile, I was a bit discouraged.  
"Lyrics..." I started to say, but then, I tore the lyrics I was currently writing towards the opposite side of the room in frustration. "It's always a war! Kuso!"  
Yuki came into the room with a lit cigarette. He stopped and looked around with a dead pan look. "What IS your problem?"  
He came over the mass of paper that had fallen out of the bag. Lifting up one crumpled piece, he regarded it with a twitch in his eyes and sighed aloud. "Grade school grammer. You still have no talent."  
"I...I...WAHHH~!" I began to wail aloud. "Don't tease me right now! I'm already frustrated and you're not helping!!!"  
Yuki, who hated to see me cry though he himself initiated it most of the times, again gave a sigh and held a smirk on his face. Then, he went across the room to grab something from a shelf. "Ah."  
Coming up to me, he leaned closer to me and grabbed my face in one hand. Then, he kissed me in the lips.  
"Stop crying." Upon finishing, he smirked and dropped a cd into my lap. "Here. You're bothering me with your crying."  
I became a little chibi and attached to him with arms opened wide. "Oh Yuukii!"  
"You can never say that I didn't help you." Then, with an evil smile,   
he leaned closer and whispered, "I'm not that mean, am I Shuichi?"  
I gulped and shook my head. "Uh-huh?"  
He stood there for a moment looking at me. "It's embarrassing, but   
yes, I liked that idol."  
With another deadpan look, he walked away as I slid back into the floor and cleaned my mess. After doing so, I plopped the CD into the player.  
Flipping to the list of tracks, I read, "Dousurebaii?"  
Pressing for it to play track number 6, I waited for the song to go on. "It's...different?"  
  
Dousureba ii...  
  
I even laughed a little. It sounded so 80ish. The copyright did confirm this with 1989 written on the back.  
  
Nanimo shitemo. Doko ni itemo. Anata e to nagareru...  
  
If I think about it, this was written 11 years ago. Yuki was...hmm...12? And he liked an idol singer? Why would Yuki of all people like an idol? I don't get it.  
"He keeps on surprising me," I whispered to myself.  
  
Naze? Aisenai, aishiteru noni? Kokoro wo totsuzen, tozashite shimau no?  
  
After a while, I began to understand...  
I think I like this...  
  
Naze? Nigete yuku. Oikokeru no wa...  
  
It's...just different. I can't describe it. The words are just too deep...  
  
Then, I looked at the ground and smiled. "He really did help."  
Even if Yuki was sometimes a pain to deal with, he was always reliable at desperate measures.  
At the end of the song, I finally opened the booklet that came with this cd named 'Zetsuai'. But when I did, a little piece of notebook paper had slipped out.   
"Oh...what's this?" Along with it, hidden under the cd was another cd that looked untouched.   
Then, I read the title, "Kizu."  
Curiously, I placed this into the cd machine and sat back on the couch.  
  
My finger tapped to the seductive beat...  
  
...I think that's what's so addicting about this idol singer. He knows how to hit you from all the senses...  
  
"Much in time has passed to you,  
In years that came,  
I searched.  
Ceasing tears in their midst  
I could not cry,  
I knew not how.  
Then when fate,  
Which twisted my body and my heart in her hands,  
Delivered what was never expected.  
  
Then cut my heart into pieces,  
Make it bleed upon your feet.  
I don't care if I can't have you  
As long as you're mine.  
  
I wandered upon the earth   
With blind eyes.  
I wanted to smash open  
that secret I couldn't touch.  
My fingertips wanted   
To touch a god  
and defy it in its throne.  
Ravaging through the land   
like a demon.  
I couldn't find you,  
You were already gone  
Maybe lost forever.  
  
Losing my mind into pieces,  
Break myself in your sight  
I don't care about losing my soul.  
Because I already did.  
  
Losing my mind into pieces (Pieces)  
Breaks myself in your sight (Broken heart)  
I don't care about losing my soul (It's not important)  
because I already did (I had no choice)  
  
Then cut my heart into pieces  
(You don't know how long,)  
Make it bleed upon your feet  
(I've been looking for you,)  
I don't care if I can't have you  
(We no longer need words,)  
As long as you're mine  
(Kill me with your love.)"  
  
As the cd stopped playing, I sat there for a second to reflect on what I had just heard.   
  
This is one of the best things I've ever listened to...  
  
"It's a limited edition to Nanjo-san's private club, huh?" I nodded to myself and then, my eyes looked at the little note in Mr. Laptop's own handwriting (wow, there's a time when even Yuki didn't use a comp.?).   
  
It read,   
"I get the feeling it's for that soccer player named Izumi Takuto. But that's just my opinion.  
  
...  
  
Maybe it's not so bad if I think that way...  
I can use this someday in a story...  
-me"  
  
"Oi!" Yuki grabbed the piece of paper from my hands almost with a little embarrassment as his younger self's writing that held the stupidity of youth, but the wisdom of time.  
"Hey!" I protested. "Why did you take it away?"  
He looked to one side in denial. "It's mine. End of story."  
I pouted and then he walked away. But as he was about to turn around to do so, he fell into my arms.  
  
Another night of tiredness for my Yuki...  
  
In the midst of papers, I held his head in my arms and looked into his sleeping face.  
  
I know I'm not good at lyrics. I'm not such a great lover and I know I'm naive. But if I could express my feelings as well as Nanjo-san...maybe you'd respect my lyrics better, Yuki...  
  
Maybe...  
  
Then, carefully, I took out the mini cd in my pocket and listened to the demo tape for our new single. Which was the reason why I wanted to make lyrics in the first place.  
  
Stroking his hair and unable to move, I looked down at him and kissed his cheek slowly so that he wouldn't stir. "If I could just say it aloud..."  
  
As I listened to the instrumental, I remembered what I thought throughout all the tracks I had heard from Nanjo-san: They were natural and poured deep from the heart.   
  
"Maybe I can do it, Yuki." I whispered.   
  
Looking again at him, I closed my eyes and hugged him tighter. "The things I couldn't say, the things I can't express, I don't know what to say to you, Yuki. Maybe it's more than words can say, but being with you is like living in an Akai Yume..." I trailed off. "It's a red dreamland."  
  
Then, I let my mouth go to whisper softly into his ear...  
  
Red Dreamland...  
  
Reality comes with a price.  
It's something like love.  
It's so pure,  
When you touch it,  
It disappears  
Like magic fairy dust  
that you wished with as a child  
Only to find it fades away  
In the seams  
Of adulthood.  
  
Red Dreamland take me away (it's gone, maybe)  
Wasurenai de, wasurenai de (I forgot it all.)  
Oshiete Oshiete (I really mean don't.)  
Tell me love is as blind (as seeing your hand)  
as running around (in a desert)  
in a Red Dreamland. (where dreams come true.)  
  
Believing in what you want,  
Comes with more than faith,  
It's so heavy,  
When you carry it,  
It falls  
Like a cloud with rain  
that you can see your tears in  
Only to find that they are  
The tears you  
Cried today.  
  
Red dreamland take me away.  
Nakitai yo Nakitai yo  
Kotae Kotae  
The answer is always there  
straight in the face  
in my Red Dreamland.  
  
Red Dreamland take me away (far away)  
Wasurenai de, wasurenai de (Don't forget about me)  
Oshiete Oshiete (Deny me, Deny me)  
Tell me love is as blind (Let it go away)  
as running around (without a soul)  
in a Red Dreamland. (I keep inside of me.)  
  
Kissing his warm lips, I finished, "That's what you mean to me, Yuki. You are my red dreamland. It makes no sense, but it kind of does too."  
  
"Ah." He looked up at me with eyes wide open.  
  
Blinking my eyes, yet again, my Yuki Eiri has surprised me by being awake all the while to spite me. I sighed once again.  
He shook his head and smiled. "Shuichi..."  
Leaning closer to me, he said, "That was pretty good."  
  
And I couldn't say anything. I was so shocked because yet again, Yuki had something to surprise me with.  
  
For the first time in all the time we've lived together...  
...he finally encouraged me...  
  
...without making me cry along the way.  
  
--  
Author's note: This was just a personal venture with Zetsuai...  
I know it's kind of sappy and ooc...but I really wanted some type of crossover... 


End file.
